***Trigger warning*** My miscarriage experience

Some counsellors are taught not to self disclose, because these sessions are about you, the client.  That was how I was trained too.  You invest your time, money and deepest thoughts and emotions in counselling, it’s not for me to take that opportunity from you.  However, how far does not self disclosing go? If you asked me what I’m up to at the weekend, do I dodge the question or say “we’re here to talk about you”…..makes things really awkward doesn’t it? Might put you off being able to open up.  I think I’d struggle to open up to someone who was a bit dismissive or shut me down.  So for me, I find a balance is needed, If you ask, I’ll tell you if I’m going food shopping at the weekend (boooooooooo!) or where I’m off on holiday.  With that in mind I do have one thing I feel I should share with you, but other than that I won’t be divulging too much about myself because I do want to strike that balance and these sessions are about you.

I’ve had clients come to me with all kinds of problems but I do specialize in some areas – miscarriage being one.  I have personal experience of multiple miscarriages, but I’ve been very lucky to come out of the other side and have a successful pregnancy.  Not everyone is so lucky.  I’ve told you this because if you’ve been through the pain of miscarriage, baby loss, and infertility and you’ve come across my website or directory profiles with the aim of seeking counselling, you might struggle to talk to someone who has come out the other side.  I’ve not told you this because I would actively start talking about myself and my child, I would only mention it if you asked if I had children, and that would be all I would say.  Imagine if I lied, avoided the question or dismissed it, it could make things awkward like I talked about above or make you shut down.  I know it would be hard for some clients to hear.  So, my intention for this blog is because I want you to be able to make an informed decision about if I would be the right counsellor for you upfront before we start sessions. Infertility/miscarriage & everything around that can make you feel really conflicted, makes you think things you have never thought before.  If I’m not the counsellor for you, I’d completely understand, I struggled to talk to people who’d had success while I went through losses, counsellors are human too, but if I am the right counsellor for you, then please feel free to get in touch. 

Thanks for reading.

Lucy